Rachel 1

1. Eat, sleep, and be merry for tomorrow we die.

2. The early bird catches the worm but leftovers are just as good.

3. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. But why bother if we have heavy narcotics, credit cards, and Google?

4. Of course, I’ve come to realize that those are false and my parents were and are always correct. Homework before socializing. Homework before eating. Goodness, homework before Facebook. Just early enough that I can go to bed before eleven o’clock. No more headaches, no more need for naps, no more awful assignments sloppily done at two in the morning with assistance from a can of Dr. Pepper and last semester’s essay.

5. Oh, and perhaps learning is much easier and more enjoyable when roommates can’t be heard downstairs watching the latest and greatest How I Met Your Mother or playing Halo Reach. Invest in some earplugs.  

6. And don’t ever forget to pay the gravity bill.

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